n ee ds

i want a kiss that will make thoughts hazy

i want
i want
i want one that means something

how long has it been since i've had a meaningful one?  i think the last one i had was before the summer sometime. a moment held, too fleeting, staving off the kiss until i couldn't anymore, then inching closer to his face, my nose grazing the side of his nose, his eyes on me then on my lips, mine on his eyes and then on his lips - a slight push of the head, i could almost feel the energy of his breath cushioning my lips - i pull back so lightly, and he can't anymore; he presses his lips to mine and the kiss is slow, painful, stinging. i burn behind my eyelids and feel like sighing and crying in the beauty of it, but he pulls away and the moment is gone.

i never did have a kiss like that with him again.  maybe one of the reasons why jon & i failed.

i wonder what it is like to continuously have kisses like that with one person. i wonder

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i want
i want
i want to tell you how much this music is meaning to me right now? it is my new found friend we keep having secret conversations together over tea sitting on a bed of molasses because we sink in so slowly, just like kisses [the weight (and the sea)]
i love everything slow
i want everything slow

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i just want to get over this quicker though. how has it only been 9 days??

b, it does not help that i keep having dreams of you, i cannot really remember what they are but i know they are of you because i wake up desperately wanting to go back to sleep and enter the same dream. you were wearing a chicken costume in one of them, i know there's a really funny story behind it

i miss you a lot.